TOPIC 1: Active Listening Skill Set; Assessing your Listening Skills, Barriers to Active Listening, and Improving your Listening Skills
First, we will look at “What is an Active Listener”? It’s a great question. Are you someone who while another is speaking is already preparing in your head your next statement?
I have had experiences where I was talking to a person who was not listening at all. Some have even been engaged with their phones, pretending to listen. It can be very discouraging!
Hoppe (2014) briefly stated:
Active listening is the willingness and ability to hear and understand. At its core, active listening is a state of mind that involves paying full and careful attention to others. Avoiding premature judgment, reflecting understanding, clarifying information, summarizing and sharing are the steps to great listening. By learning and committing to these skills and behaviors, leaders can become more active listeners and, over time, improve their ability to lead.
Listening with your heart.
I am still learning to do this. Yeshua listened to others with His heart. “Yeshua who was a great teacher listened without prejudice. There is an example where we can especially see His interaction with the woman at the well (Jn. 4:4-42 NIV).
Despite culture, gender, racial, and moral strikes against her, Yeshua lovingly interacted with her … both listening and talking” (taken from Train Christian Leaders website)
Humphries (2012) expands on this….
Emotional listening involves a range of qualities: politeness, political intelligence, an awareness of verbal and non-verbal cues, and a willingness to make the exchange enjoyable. (Humphrey, 2012, p. 55)
Learning Activities
Activity 3:1 My Listening Skills
Complete the following activities to learn about and assess your listening skills:
a) Reading: Read Hoppe, M. (2014). Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead.
b) Active Listening Assessment: Read the questions given and answer them by rating yourself on your listening behaviors towards others.
c) How to Improve Your Listening Skills After taking the self-assessment. If you gave yourself a 4 or 5 rating on any question, you will find that item on pages 16 through 20 (Note: pages may differ with e-books).
HOMEWORK Submit your Self Assessment to the Dropbox below due Saturday, May 13th 2021.
Activity 3:2 Levels of Listening
Leadership communication is not only about what you say, it’s about how you respond to others. Your listening skills are crucial to your ability to understand and respond to thinking that may be different from your own.
All leaders must cultivate their listening on three levels:
- LISTEN PHYSICALLY
- Be present. You must be “in the moment” to connect with others.
- Use open body language and eye contact to create rapport.
- Eliminate physical distractions such as laptops, phones, and papers.
- LISTEN MENTALLY
- Stay with the speaker—rather than skipping ahead in your mind.
- Paraphrase and mirror the speaker’s language to ensure that you understand.
- Help others define their thinking rather than dismissing ideas in their formative stages.
- LISTEN EMOTIONALLY
- Acknowledge the feelings of others explicitly.
- Notice others’ non-verbal cues.
- Ask questions when you are at an impasse.
Listening lays the groundwork for leading by allowing you to form a picture of how others perceive your ideas. It gives you access to the reservations and objections that others might have. And it deepens your understanding of the person you’re speaking to.
There are many barriers to effective communication. Physical barriers, cultural barriers, organizational barriers, interpersonal barriers, and even linguistic barriers. Barriers get in the way. They are an imaginary wall between you and the person you are talking to. Perhaps consider barriers to your active listening! What are they? How do you cope with them?
Activity 3:3 Online Activity (Everyone is expected to participate)
Give examples of:
- When you have not listened physically;
- When you have not listened mentally, and lastly
- When you have not listened emotionally.
Topic 2: Analyzing Your Audience
When I meet clients, other Realtors, or students I am constantly aware of analyzing my audience. Being able to read your audience is a fundamental communication strategy for any leader. How many times have you attended a presentation and the speaker has bored you to tears? Barrett (2014) states, “Every leader must approach each audience as unique… taking time to think through [their] presentation [to] ensure the audience understands and accepts [your] message” (p.3).
A great presenter will consider:
1) What is my purpose/objective?
2) What is my overall message?
3) What is the most effective way to reach my audience?
4) Who is my audience?
5) How was my timing, and how can I incorporate feedback?
Analyzing Audiences, you will find that there are five types of audiences. These are listed as the Charismatic, the Thinker, the Skeptic, the Follower and the Controller. Each has a different method of how they can be persuaded.
I often work with clients who like to be the driver, the Controller. They are the most difficult but often the most rewarding to win over. Many, controllers, see things from their own perspective. They are emotional, detailed, and fearful but don’t like to admit it. They have to be accurate, are strong personalities and can be overbearing. However, knowing how to handle this type of audience is a win-win. I often find myself in long silences during negotiations. The goal is to give these ‘controlling’ clients time to make decisions because they will not be rushed.
Activity 3:5 Critical Thinking Exercise
Read the article The Way You Persaude. Which of the descriptions in the article would you say you are? Think and identify a person you know in history who fits one or two of the descriptions and consider how they would be influenced to make a decision. As you review these 5 different types of decision-makers think of people in your own family or leaders who fit the descriptions.
Take Away: Knowing these 5 different types of decision-makers will help you with your persuasion journey!
To summarize: Here are the 5 different types of decision-makers and how they can be persuaded.
PowerPoint Summary: Change the Way your Persuade
CHARISMATIC Decision Makers
Enthusiastic, talkative, dominant, persistent, take responsible risks.
TO PERSUADE A CHARISMATIC: I must remember they make their decisions methodically based on balanced information. Give them the information and explain the risks.
THINKER Decision Makers
Cerebral (intellectual, not emotional), intelligent, logical, and academic.
TO PERSUADE A THINKER: I must openly communicate my worries and concerns; thinkers work best when they know the risks upfront. They can be swayed when an argument appeals directly to their intelligence.
SKEPTIC Decision Makers
Strong personalities, demanding of time and energy, rebellious and antisocial. Skeptic trust those referred to them. Skeptics can move quickly to a decision.
TO PERSUADE A SKEPTIC: You need credibility when working with a skeptic. Building trust is key. If you challenge a skeptic because he believes in bad information, give him room to save face.
FOLLOWERS Decision Makers
They see the world through other people’s eyes, cautious, suspicious. They focus on proven methods, references and testimonials.
TO PERSUADE A FOLLOWER: They are easier to persuade if you know their button to push. Make a follower feel confident about his decision will get buy-in from a follower.
CONTROLLER Decision Makers
See things from their own perspective. Not emotional, detailed, fearful but don’t admit it, accurate, strong personalities and can be overbearing.
TO PERSUADE A CONTROLLER: Be prepared for long silences during any negotiations because they are self-absorbed. They need ample time to make decisions and they won’t be rushed.
PowerPoint Summary: Change the Way your Persuade
Homework note due dates:
a) Read the short book Active Listening and submit your Self Assessment to the Dropbox below by Thursday, May 13th, 2021
b) Reading Humphries, Speaking as a Leader Chapters 8 to 11 Due Tuesday, May 11th, 2021.
c) Create Groups. Five groups of five and submit the names by Saturday, May 15th, 2021. These groups will work together on different class projects.
d) Reflection Paper: What new information did you learn from this lesson? What was muddy? Remember this is an ongoing APA Paper style Journal. It will be submitted later in the course.
e) Field Report Interviews: Your appointments should be set up and/or your Appendices typed with the questions and the answers from the interviewees. Keep working on this paper.
Resources:
Hoppe, M. (2014). Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead. Greensboro: CCL Press.
Humphrey, J. (2012). Speaking as a leader how to lead every time you speak — from board rooms to meeting rooms, from town halls to phone calls. Mississauga, Ontario: John Wiley & Sons Canada.
Deborah Barrett (2014). Leadership Communication 4th Edition. McGraw Hill Education.
